Its Been A While

Its been a while and I have just not gotten to my blog. Partly, I think I was avoiding posting. Posting here has become part of my way of dealing with things and I think I have been avoiding it....

I recently wrote her a letter just saying how i feel. I do hate her. I hate her for doing what she did. I hate her for me not being with my kids day in and day out.

I miss having to pick my baby up off the floor because he fell out of the bed. Cleaning up the vomit at 2 am because one of them is sick. Them waking up crying because of a bad dream.

I miss her mom, I have really grown to love that woman, today she will not talk to me... and there is another hate... I hate the lies she has told and continues to tell.

I am trying and I ray that we can have a relationship again, for the sake of the kids at least... its just so difficult to trust her because she continues o lie.

Part of me still misses her like crazy and I hate that!!!!!!!!

I'm also angry, not at her, but at this whole legal system. For me, impotence has taken on a new meaning. The legal system, in my humble opinion, needs to relook at the meaning of “Best Interest of the Child”… uuuurrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!

Also, does morals not count for much anymore? I am finding this legal jungle “WOMAN FRIENDY”

OK enough complaining….