So for the last few weeks I've been fairly upbeat and in a really good space. The last week or so I found that I was becoming edgy and anxious and could not figure out why.
Last night, it dawned on me... I was hating the fact that I was not with my kids and even the person I married. I miss them all so much. I'm not contemplating reconciliation with her, I not convinced that I could ever trust her again! But I missed what we were as a happy family.
I know and have accepted that we will not be a happy family again and I have realised that I can still be happy and joyous with my children.
This last week has been difficult for many people I suppose based on the significance of the time of year... being family orientated.
This has been the first Xmas, New Years etc for many people going through divorce, who have lost loved ones, a first for many. I also know that the "first step" is always the most difficult, the second becomes easier and so on...
Who ever is reading this and experiencing a first... it will get better... that is a promise I can make
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