There is Life after Divorce. - Extract from a blog I found I thought I would share

There is Life after Divorce. It’s a different life but it is life. You have two options become bitter and twisted and bore your family and friends, or take the greatest revenge of all – get happy, get out there and get a life. Its what I’m doing, its what thousands of men & women have done and its what you must do if you want to move forward to the next big romance in your life. Is your heart hurting? Of course it is. But to heal your heart you need to free yourself of thoughts that stop you moving forward and think fabulous thoughts that fast forward you to future that’s bright. Tall order, yes, but the alternative is really not attractive. I’m trying tried and tested tips to share with you to help you get over it and get on with your life.

Who are you now?

You may have been together for many years and got your identity tied up with this person. It’s now time to rediscover who you are at this point in your life. What do you want from your life going into the future? What do you want to achieve? What kind of life do you want to live? How do you want to bring up your children? What new choices do you want to make. You may have lost of a sense of your true self, but you are still there. Now’s the time to find out about you and what you want and plan a life that works for you and your family.

Bringing up the Kids

It may well be that you have to work and bring up your kids without much support. Make life as easy as possible for yourself. Get the kids (if they are old enough) to take on responsibilities explaining how much it will help you and them too if everyone pulls together. Offer massive praise for jobs well done and give loads of love even when you are dog-tired. It pays huge dividends in their behaviour, their schoolwork and their adjustment to their new lives. Don’t bad mouth your ex! It’s so hard not too, but ask yourself “for whose benefit am I saying these things”? I think you’ll find its just so you can vent your frustrations. Do your kids really benefit from hearing it though? Be vigilant and if you can’t say anything redeeming say nothing at all.

Taking Care of you

Make sure you take good care of you – you are all you have right now. Good food, exercise, fresh air and sleep is more important than ever. Do what it takes to arrange times for yourself. Pull in favours. Help others when you can and store up your own favours for when you need them. Never say no to offers of support – you need all you can get. However don’t spill yourself all over others. Keep your counsel and your pride. This is your business not a dinner party conversation or after school gossip for others who have nothing better to do.

Above all, never give up on Love. You have loads left to give, and there is definitely that special some one out there just ready to appear when the time is right. Have some fun, have some patience and do whatever you can to enjoy yourself. Take a holiday with the kids even if it’s in a caravan. This is just a phase in your life that will pass and your hurt will heal. Hold on to you and your family and you’ll get through it together.