What a weekend

My Little one has chicken pox and as such is covered head to toe with spots. But the greatest of all is that he stayed so jovial.

I have been abit anxuious as I finally haee a court date for the rule 43 and had to remind myself to enjoy the time with my kids and what a time we had. Given I only see them for 3 hours a day, I am proud of the fact that I could spend time with them together, and 1 to 1 which was really great.

I really got the opportunity to bond with the 4 year old for the first time in a while and he revealed to me how he misses me and also said that "mommy cries alot" That statement on its own was abit of a shocker as she traditionally does not show emotion.

I am tempted to feel sorry for her but also realise that this is the bed that she made and as such, has to lie in it. When her infedelities came to light, I tried making it work between us and she chose to continue on her path as it was.

I am sadened by the heartache we are both suffering but right now I have to do what I feel is best for my children. I am closing the chapter of my life called my marriage to the STBX and starting on a new journey. I need to do what is best for me, and ultimately what is best for me will be best for my children.

It is not easy to not have them around over this period, but I also have to remember that my "family" life is not going to be "normal" ever again, even if someone new comes into my life. K will always be there and I have to learn how to deal with that.

I can honestly say that I have forgiven her for the transgressions, I do not condone it, but I have forgiven her. I sincerley hope that she finds whatever it is she is looking for and needs.

Everyone at some point will suffer a loss ~ the loss of loved ones, good health, a job. It's your desert experience - a time of feeling barren of options, even hope. The important thing is not to allow yourself to be stranded in the desert. - Patrick Del Zoppo, psychologist